Anti-Vaccers, Gene Pool Saviours

 

So, as per the title, a quick message to those anti-vaccers out there that believe the current crop of Covid19 vaccines will change your DNA or turn you into gibbering monkeys with a limp and halitosis. I just need you to do me, well, humanity a favour. Don't worry, I'm not going to be unpleasant, I respect your point of view, but, could you just try having a conversation with someone that actually knows what they are talking about. Or at least, check the credentials of the people you do listen to such as struck off nurses, struck off Drs, Drs who graduated from online universities in Uganda or psychics who are actually real space cadets and bloke down pub who's off with the fairies!

After that if you are still a committed anti-vaccer or believe Covid is a hoax or you believe the world is flat, then, I hate to do this but I've got some more favours to ask.

1. Your local hospital requires help with a variety of menial unpaid tasks but you'll be rewarded with huge warmth and regard. Ask to do the cleaning or some such in a Covid ward, don't worry, for you it doesn't exist so it cannot possibly hurt you so just pop on down, no need for that confining old PPE as you are naturally immune after that coffee enema your mate shoved up your ass. Do that for a few weeks, no need to wash hands or anything daft like that, don't forget, the coffee will protect you.

2. There's another massive hoax not breaking out in Guinea and they're in dire need of some untrained low intelligence non medical individuals to help keep patients clean and hydrated. Once again, ignore all the suits and masks and pointless cleanliness all these others hypochondriacs are hooked by, you really don't need it. As, you took a double dose Vitamin C&D and if that doesn't stop this fake Ebola then nothing will, right. So, off you go and show all those doomsayers just how wrong they are.

3. You're really cleaning things up now so one more myth and hoax to finally put a nail in your coffin, err I mean the coffin, the generic aphorism thingy. So, next, lets deal with that haggard old story spread by money grabbing industrialists and politicians, HIV. Obviously I don't need to tell you this is yet another make believe bullshit propaganda to keep you in your place so, off you go, find a nice friendly HIV positive individual and have lots and lots of unprotected sex, really really rough sex. And yep, you guessed it, it's ok, you are immune after that garlic pill you had last Wednesday and the Madras curry you ate last night which was so hot it must have killed off anything bad, right! Right, so, ignore the protestations about protection and stuff and get stuck in.

4. Finally, yep only four, after all your not some Greek hero making amends for killing your family or anything like that, you're just a general everyday hero busting myths for the rest of us. So, lastly, there is the fake news that guns don't kill people, people kill people. Excellent, simple then. You are a person, you do not want to kill anyone, least of all yourself, so, find a gun, put it in your mouth, pull the trigger. See, nothing happened did it, coz guns don't kill people. Yeah, you got it, it's all fake, but society really needs your help to show what bullshit this all is, so, off you go, complete the four tasks of the everyday man or woman and show how super you really are and how we are all being lied to and manipulated. That gun won't kill you, it can't because guns don't kill people, keep saying it as you pull that trigger.

And, one last thing, I would just like to thank you and applaud you, I really really do. Your actions, should you choose to take this path to enlightenment and heroism is truly, I mean really truly, improving the gene pool of the species and that takes an amazing person, a true 21st century hero. So, thanks!