Grass and stuff

So the President arrived. Rolled into town with a squadron of aircraft that by far outnumbered and certainly outgunned anything the RAF has nowadays. 

Even when the RAF has got planes it seems that an awful lot of them stay on the ground more than might seem prudent due to lack of fuel because of a lack of budget or lack of pilots due to a general malaise in young men wanting to study incredibly hard for a decade just to get shot at by aircraft or missile systems that they will never actually see. 

Unless of course the enemy are somewhat less developed, shall we say, I which case the odds improve, slightly.

And as the PotUS arrived he grabbed his wife firmly by the hand. Which was a relief to all concerned given his previous comments although maybe not such a relief to his wife who, for all we know, might wish him to grab her by something other than the hand.

The Donald also met the Queen and thankfully kept to protocol and also did not grab her anywhere. He even managed to walk with her this time and not several steps in front of her which he did the last time. 

Seems that sometimes the guy is just way too eager to get somewhere but nobody in his entourage ever seems to know quite where that is. One suggestion is that if the Donald does not know where he is heading how on earth could anybody else know and so ensues a game of ‘best guess’ with a team of highly paid and highly educated assistants seeking to formulate explanations and defences for the most likely, which includes the most unlikely for most normal people, action, comment or tweet that bursts forth from the current key holder of The Whitehouse.

No doubt something mildly interesting will happen today but as far as is possible I will not pay huge amounts of interest.

Of far more interest is the rate of growth of my lawn. I only cut it two days ago and now I look out the window it certainly looks as though I might need to cut it again! I can completely understand people that step out of this infernal cycle of life and either just let it grow until it reaches its natural limits or pay a couple of men to dump several tons of concrete upon the lawn thus removing the problem altogether.

The previous owner of this house employed the first solution and one of my neighbours appears to be employing the second.

I do think my use of the word grass is a little grand too. On closer inspection, like when I am cutting it back, the actual grass would seem to be outnumbered to a quite alarming degree by other things such as moss, which does make the grass look low and green in places… from a distance, and then various invasive plants collectively just called weeds. What they are not called, is grass! However, they do cut very like grass cuts and for that short period of time when they are stunned by having been scythed down by 80% they look very much like grass from a distance… until 48hrs later that is!

But if I simply remove the weeds the grass will look patchy and I mean patchy as in the number of issues that have been tackled by an English parliament in the past three years excluding anything and everything to do with Brexit… that patchy.

I have also noticed there is a small trend towards fake grass! Purchased by the metre in huge rolls. And not just one size fits all, there are a different quality grades just like a carpet. I’m still trying to get my head around whether this is just one more level of marketing madness or a good idea. Insanity and brilliance always seem to be very close to one another so I’ll think on this some more.